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| Media Room Q&A with Patricia Lynn Henley |
How did you meet Elda ?
I was working as a reporter for a twice-weekly newspaper in the Sonoma Valley . Elda was featured in the documentary "Little Italy," which was showing at the first-ever Sonoma Valley Film Festival. I arranged to do what I thought would be a routine interview with Elda as part of my coverage of the film festival. Nothing about Elda was ever routine. As I walked away from that interview I thought, "Her life should be in a book." The next thought that popped into my head was, "And I should write that book."
What drew you to her?
From the moment I met Elda Teresa Del Bino Willitts, I was struck by her radiant inner peace and her serenity. She was truly a happy person. I wanted to know how she did it so I could be more like her. And once I got to know Elda , I wanted to share her love and her wisdom with as many people possible. "The Sugar's at the Bottom of the Cup" is our collaborative attempt to do just that. Elda provided the memories and the wisdom; I gave her story structure and form.
Do the lessons learned by older generations like Elda 's still apply to today's life?
Absolutely. Poverty, the pitfalls of luxury, a family member's mental illness, battling cancer, grief over the loss of a loved one, and the search for personal identity and meaning - those aren't just current issues. They were all challenges that Elda faced. She and other members of her generation also coped with the Great Depression, World War II, and a world that changed at an ever-increasing pace. Yet because of her hard-earned wisdom and her positive attitude, Elda created for herself a rich, full, and rewarding life. That's something we can all learn from.
What was the most important lesson you learned from Elda ?
To treasure life and at the same time have no fear of death. "The Sugar's at the Bottom of the Cup" was published in October 2004. Elda died peacefully at home on January 11, 2005 . Even as her health was deteriorating, she would grin at me and tell me to "go out and celebrate this wonderful day." By her daily example, she showed me that each moment is precious and needs to savored, not clouded with fear or foreboding.
What would Elda think of your decision to make a "leap of faith" -- quit your job and pursue a freelance writing career?
As I was typing my letter of resignation, I swear I could feel Elda grinning down at me, her eyes sparkling with delight and humor. Elda always said she wanted our book to change my life. It has, because Elda 's faith in both me and in "The Sugar's at the Bottom of the Cup" has propelled me forward into uncharted waters. She never backed down from a challenge and she taught me to do the same.
How does someone learn to spot the "sugar at the bottom of the cup" in light of all the pressure and negativity in modern life?
As Elda always said, every life is filled with ups and downs. There are no exceptions; everyone struggles with difficult challenges at some point in their life. The trick is to pay attention to the beauty that is always there, even in the dark times. Elda worked at being happy. Every time she read or heard a phrase that inspired her, she wrote it down in a little notebook. Each morning she would read all of those phrases to herself, starting her day off with a real boost. When her eyesight failed and she could no longer read through her notebook of favorite sayings, she was a bit down for a day or two. Then inspiration hit, and she had her son and daughter-in-law make a tape recording of everything in her notebook. And when she discovered things she wanted added, she had a family member record them on the tape. She listened to that tape every morning, almost up to the day she died. One of her favorites from that little notebook was, "The only real disability in life is a bad attitude." She not only believed that deeply, she lived it truly.
What is involved in "writing down a life" as you did with Elda ?
Organization, dedication and taking it one step at a time.
The first step was putting together an ever-evolving chronology or timeline of the events we wanted to cover. This was our baseline. It helped us keep events and experiences consistent throughout the story, and let us identify points of confusion and clear them up. I also put together a mental list of themes I wanted to include in the book, such as the immigrant experience, family secrets and Elda 's developing self-awareness and self-reliance. That helped me decide what went into the book and what didn't.
The next important factor is to realize writing a memoir or preserving family stories requires time and effort but it's worth it in the end. It took almost seven years from my first interview with Elda to the publication of "The Sugar's at the Bottom of the Cup." I had a demanding full-time job and Elda had a series of health problems; both of these interrupted the flow of our collaboration but we never gave up.
I've learned that you write a book one paragraph at a time. All that is really needed is to concentrate on the next paragraph. Do that often enough, and suddenly you're writing the final paragraph. Then you get to go back and revise, rework and edit it until the whole work flows together as one. But it's always done one step at a time. If I would start worrying about how it would all come together at the end or what the final outcome might be, Elda would gently, often humorously, yank me back into the present moment. It was one of her greatest gifts to me.
Patricia Lynn Henley
High-resolution artwork of Ms. Henley is immediately available by clicking here.
To schedule an interview with, or personal appearance by, Patricia Lynn Henley, please contact Lisa Walter at lisa@adamswalter.com or 707.996.1529.
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